Every day that passes brings us a day closer

It is hard to believe that it is March of 2014. When we began this journey we believed that we would be matched by now… home with our daughter even. We thought that it wouldn't take as long as they feared it might. October 2013. This was our target and the days ticked by. Marked by a longing and an aching in my heart to see her face.  To hold her in my arms. To share our life. Birthdays, Holidays, other special events…a year of them, then two years, three…and a piece of us is missing throughout it all.

Our immigration approval expires March 11.  3 years worth of Immigration approval evaporates.  We will submit a new application that will be good for 18 months…time will tell if we will need to apply for the extension again. There is a helplessness in all of this that is like I have never known.  We are at the mercy of governments and agencies and their employees.  All that is left for us to do is fill out paperwork, pay fees and wait.  I know the wait could be so much harder. I know that our wait will get much harder.  To know her and wait in expectation of getting her home is a different kind of wait than what I am experiencing now. One that will stretch me much further than what I am enduring at this point.

Some people ask, "Why?' We know that there are children that need homes. Why wouldn't the Ethiopian Government want them in families? Why does it take so long? Why would they even consider suspending adoptions when there are so many children who need families?
As immersed in this reality as I am it is hard to articulate a response to the why questions. I believe that the leaders in Ethiopia who are charged with the task of doing what is best for the millions of children are tasked with an enormous responsibility and they are, for the most part, doing the best they can.

If you have spoken with me at all about this journey, our decision to adopt and our hearts for orphans you have heard me say that we are not the best option for a child in Ethiopia.  We just aren't.  We are a family that has love and resources that is willing to love and care for a child who needs a family.  But other than that, we got nothing. We are thousands of miles from everything they have ever known. We don't have any real link to their culture or heritage.  Food, language, weather, every bit of it will be different. We are becoming a transracial family.  Some of you might think that isn't a big deal, but it is. It is very a big deal.  It will certainly be a big deal to my precious daughter who will, undoubtedly, at some point see her self as "other" not only as an adopted child but as a black female. White privilege is pervasive and subversive and it will alienate her. Some like to believe that color no longer matters, that we are past all that.  To that I say color does matter.  My child's culture and heritage matters. Greatly.  I am swimming in waters that are deep and unknown to me.  Lord, have mercy!

However, I believe with my whole heart that we are a means of "setting the lonely in families."
Psalm 68.6.

This journey is painful. It is stretching us with every passing day, every new revelation, and when I picture my sweet girl in my mind I am emboldened to press on. Get educated. Bring awareness. Pray fervently. Challenge boldly. Be transparent.  Trust Jesus. Live in the moment.

Every day that passes brings us a day closer to her.