Just Dreaming

Baby girl,

Soon I will see your beautiful eyes looking back at me.  I will hold you in my arms and begin to understand who you are and dream of all you will become.

We have been waiting for you so long, your Daddy and me. Your big sister and your brothers can't wait to meet you.  There are so many here longing to see you. So many who love you, even now, when they don't have a face or a name to match with that love.  This love is an amazing kind of love, the kind of love that defies explanation.  I know that it is powerful and fierce, a beautiful force.  I know that it moves mountains because it is this love that is bringing you home.


I sit and dream about what it will be like:
When we get the call.
The first time I hear your name.
When I see your face for the first time.
What it will be like to get on an airplane to go meet you.
TO HOLD YOU IN MY ARMS.
To watch your Daddy kiss your sweet face.
To meet those who have cared for you.
To stand before the Ethiopian government and proclaim our commitment to love and care for you.
To have to board a plane without you and return to the U.S.
The weeks that we will wait for the call telling us we can return and bring you home.
Flying to Ethiopia again, knowing we will have you on the plane with us when we return home.
What will it feel like to board that airplane with our sweet Ethiopian baby...taking her from her homeland?
Buckling you into a carseat for the first time and traveling down the interstate to your new home.
Watching your big sister approach you with a mixture of excitement and apprehension.
Your oldest brother, gentle and loving, saying hello.
The sweet kisses and gentle touches from the youngest of the three.
The village of people longing to catch a glimpse of your sweet face...what a joy it will be to witness your meeting.

Sweet girl, may God hold you in the palm of his hand. Protect you. Provide for you. If there is no one to look into your precious eyes, hold your tiny hand or kiss your sweet face showing you love and the joy you bring to this world, may He send an angel to do it for me. Soon. Soon you will be in my arms and I will do everything I can to show you how precious and treasured you are.

Until then my beloved,
Mama

The Roller Coaster

Adoption is part of our journey. We have chosen to walk this path and if I am honest, sometimes I wonder why any sane person would do such a thing.  As you wait for a match you have plenty of time to contemplate what it is that you are getting into. Fear of the unknown threatens to take me down almost daily. The heartache of imagining what our little one will endure as we take her from her home, the people she has known, is overwhelming.  There are feelings of frustration as we wait for the governing authorities to do what they need to do...the thankfulness for those same people who are doing what they can to keep these precious children safe. The enormous sense of loss in the midst of all we will gain. This ride is the biggest, baddest roller coaster you have ever seen: we choose to get on, filled with expectancy for the wildest ride ever.  As we slowly climb to the tippy top we are full of fear and anticipation awaiting the thrill that is sure to come, hating and loving it all at once.  This is one of the steepest climbs we have made and I KNOW it will be worth it.

Some of the thoughts that I wrestle with include tough ones like this:

What IF my little girl has a Mother who has relinquished her because she cannot feed her, cannot give her medicine or education? How will I be able to look her in the eye? Why is it that our solution is to take that child from her mama? How is that the best solution? How do I reconcile myself to this reality? For the millions of orphans in this world I am thankful that there is adoption but I can't help but question what we can do to change this. 

Food. My family has more than enough to eat. Education. We take it for granted. Reading, writing, math, hygiene, sex education. It is all at our fingertips. Health care. Clean water. From the tap. All the time.  We have an abundance of these resources and technology so there has to be a better answer.

What exactly do I do with questions such as these?

They are the sharp turns that jerk our bodies painfully to the other side. They are the moments when we find ourselves upside down, feet dangling, screaming "you lied! you lied!" willing our world to right itself once again. 

But like I said, we hopped on this ride, willingly, expectantly and it will not disappoint. So we will struggle and wrestle. We will be stretched and sharpened and we will trust that the path set before us will bring us closer to who it is that we are intended to be and all the praise and glory will be given to God alone.

Fundraising Update

The title of this post should be: OVERWHELMED.  God is good folks! We raised enough for one plane ticket this weekend.  My best guess is that we had over 50 people show up to the trunk show.  Bracelets were purchased, items were raffled off, the beautiful African Mosaic Afghan donated by a family friend raised $400 and a check from Noonday will be sent to WACAP (our adoption agency) to be applied to our adoption expenses.  I don't know how many people ordered from Noonday online in order to support us but I know there were tons!  I am so excited about the fact that not only are we closer to getting our baby girl home...we, and by that I mean YOU, are supporting women and children all over the world in purchasing the beautiful Noonday merchandise! That is something to get excited about people! Read about these people! Check out the Noonday video on their website.  This is good stuff!

Do good. Be rich in good deeds. Be generous and willing to share. 1 Tim 6:18 You are living this out! Thank you!

And now, for your viewing pleasure, some cuteness! Oh my, how I love these three!

2 Moments to do 2 Things on Tuesday at 2?

Pretty catchy slogan right? Thank you Lynne Friberg!

Some have mentioned wanting other ways to support us so we created the DONATE button on the blog.  It is over there. On the left. Just above our Timeline.

Maybe you can donate a dollar a week until we bring baby girl home? Maybe you would like to give a one time donation? This account is linked to our Adoption Savings account.  All money will be used for adoption related fees.

So maybe you can take 2 moments to do 2 things on Tuesday at 2! We appreciate your prayer support as well as your financial support.

Reality

Can I be completely honest? I am freaking out! I am SO excited.  The REALITY is that nothing has changed, not really. We are still waiting with no news of an impending match. Yet, something has changed.  Maybe it is just the fact that time has continued to march on and we are closer to a match by virtue of the fact that approximately 60 families ahead of us have been matched.  Maybe it is the events that we have on our calendar that pertain to our adoption that makes it feel more real. Fundraisers, classes to attend, books on my hold list that are ready to be picked up at the library.

Last weekend I attended an Adoption Fair through Adoption Mosaic. (Adoption Mosaic is awesome, check them out!) I walked away knowing that a great deal of resources are at my fingertips.  I have felt so overwhelmed by all that I have to learn. I have to learn about skin and hair. I have to learn all I can about her first home and keep it alive for her as much as possible.
Then there are the other pieces that have to come together...transitioning to a family of 6. Where will she sleep? Will she need to be in our room or will she share a room with Kylee? Crib? Toddler bed? What size of clothes do I need to have ready? What kind of foods? And the list goes on.

We are getting closer! Time to get busy!

Trunk Show

The Bracelets

We have bracelets! I have been blessed with friends who have helped me and now you have choices! They are $25 and all the money will be going toward our adoption fees.  Your support is very much appreciated! We will have more to choose from so if you don't see anything here that suits stay tuned.

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